New brand makeover service launched for corporate shysters

Dominic

Posted on 7th June 2016

New brand makeover service launched for corporate shysters

Are you a proper cowboy outfit? Is your whole business a great big festering turd?

In short, do you need an urgent brand makeover — if only so that you can continue to bleed your customers or clients dry?

If so, you’re quids in you crooked son of a bitch.

The Last Supper

Just In Time PR’s brand makeover experts can make even the most morally repugnant firms look like they were incorporated at The Last Supper.

For years, our media experts have been rolling corporate turds in glitter.

Using skills mostly picked up on street corners and in clip joints, we’re unrivalled at helping lascivious bosses convey a veneer of professionalism when the reality is often fiduciary decrepitude and outright financial crime.

Brand makeover

Just In Time PR’s brand makeover service is perfect for:

  • PPI shitehawks
  • Builders, plumbers and roofer bandits
  • Prince Andrew
  • Financial advisers
  • Slimy zillionaire, Philip Green

Within a week of our thorough brand makeover, which will take place only once you have paid the full £10,000+VAT and expenses up-front, you’ll:

  • Appear in the Sunday Times 117 Best Companies to Work For list, just weeks after being arrested for beating up your entire accounts team in the car park of The Olde Ship
  • Be going through your customers’ bank balances like crap through a goose

Client Testimonials

“Three weeks ago I was on the front page of the The Citizen for charging some old bastard £92k for a PVC conservatory. Last week, we were named business of the year at some black tie awards bash. All this is thanks to Dom and his team of absolute mercenaries at Just In Time PR.”

Neil Ward,  Conservatories R Us, Gloucester

“Four months ago I was all over the papers for advising an octogenarian to invest her life savings in a low risk CDO secured against a tranche of Greek mortgage debt. With Dom’s brand makeover service, all talk that I did it for the commission and because I’m pretty much feeling my way in the dark has gone away. In fact, last week I was named Financial Adviser of the Year at some two-bit Park Lane event and I’m now back to helping people preserve their nest eggs via geared exposure to Russian junk.”

Paul Stinger, Dream to Retire, Milton Keynes

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